I've struggled greatly this past year. Both creatively and emotionally. Hopeless and forgotten I carried on as best I could. Little by little I was convinced I would never regain my humanity. Everyday felt more like a dream, a cloud passing by. Slow and steady I dissipated. I hoped that I would wake up with some optimism. Sadly nothing could take away this terrible empty feeling deep inside. Things have changed. I have returned to the working world and slowly I can remember what it feels like to be human.
I can see that struggle is necessary to shape our minds and strengthen our will to continue. In my case I didn't feel stronger or wiser during my struggle but only afterwards could I see the change in me. I should have used my time more wisely, I should have tried harder to see the other side of things. It's a new year and I hope to make the best of it. I must never descend into madness again.